I kept falling in the hole, and even when I managed to walk around it, I could hear it calling me back - sucking me to it like a giant vacuum cleaner. I needed to go to an entirely different place far enough way that it no longer had power over me. I needed to leave a lot of old toxic stuff behind. As a 71-year-old disabled senior, the process of letting go of most of my old life and getting the small amount of things I chose to bring to another state across the country was maybe the most difficult thing I have ever done. But here I am. I still have problems, and moving did not solve them. Moving did not fix my life. Sometimes I feel the call of that damn hole. But it is far away now, and I have new places to go. I look out the window at a beautiful river and wild flowers and geese and squirrels instead of an ugly 15 ft prickly pear cactus and rocky desert ground. Every morning I open my curtains and there it is - my beautiful river. And about once a week, I get to see my family. I have more hope - and there is a tremendous amount to be said for hope!
I choose a different destination altogether.
I kept falling in the hole, and even when I managed to walk around it, I could hear it calling me back - sucking me to it like a giant vacuum cleaner. I needed to go to an entirely different place far enough way that it no longer had power over me. I needed to leave a lot of old toxic stuff behind. As a 71-year-old disabled senior, the process of letting go of most of my old life and getting the small amount of things I chose to bring to another state across the country was maybe the most difficult thing I have ever done. But here I am. I still have problems, and moving did not solve them. Moving did not fix my life. Sometimes I feel the call of that damn hole. But it is far away now, and I have new places to go. I look out the window at a beautiful river and wild flowers and geese and squirrels instead of an ugly 15 ft prickly pear cactus and rocky desert ground. Every morning I open my curtains and there it is - my beautiful river. And about once a week, I get to see my family. I have more hope - and there is a tremendous amount to be said for hope!